Zim, here?
by Sajiopi
Summary: Zim and Co. come to the real world. PG for security, just in case. Please read/review, especially suggestions for improvement!
1. The Prologue and Intro Thingy

Invader ZIM!! belongs to someone other than me!  
  
Okay you one or two bored souls who were silly enough to click on the link to this site. I have two things to say. Maybe three. But I'll decide that later.  
First of all my story does not take place in though it is based on the theory that there is a world for Zim and Co. and another for the unlucky rest of us. No, I shall be doing the unthinkable: Bringing Zim and Dib and GIR, and maybe Gaz if I feel so inclined, to the Real World.  
  
I lied, thaws all I wanted to say, so now I will shut up.  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Prologue... / First Chapter  
  
Zim walked in the door of his home, pushed past his welcoming parents, who had rushed to the door upon his arrival, ignored his puppy, begging to be fed, reached the kitchen, leapt into the garbage bin, reached his secret lab, ripped off his wig, took out his contacts, and began his plans to take over the world.  
He's not as cold hearted as you may think at first glance. The parents are robots, there for show, and the dog is a robot, too. No one knows why GIR likes to eat, and no one will ever know since he himself doesn't. Zim ignored GIR because the little blue robot with a green doggy disguise asked for a cupcake, and being a robot neither needed to have one nor needed assistance to get one.  
Yes, Zim is an alien. A short, green skinned, red-eyed, basically humanoid alien lacking ears and a nose. And he has antennae. And wears a red shirt with black gloves, pants, and boots. His house is equipped with the finest Irken technology, and he attends skool everyday like normal and abnormal and paranormal Earth children.  
He is cold-hearted, however, because he is trying to take over the Earth for his planet Irk, and as an Irken Invader, Zim takes his job very seriously.   
Alright, altogether too seriously.   
Zim is insane, and was sent to Earth by the Irken leaders before they knew of the existence of the planet. If they had known they would have sent him to the nearest black hole.  
Just ask him about giant radioactive rubber pants.  
  
Zim attends school to assimilate into the Earthling culture, and is doing a surprisingly good job of it. Only two people have guessed his secret, Dib and his younger sister Gaz. But only Dib, the paranormal investigator kid with an overactive imagination, cares. Gaz is fine with Zim trying to take over the world as long as he continues to be so bad at it and she has plenty of pizza, soda, and GameSlaves.  
  
Back to GIR.  
He is the only one truly insane and in this story he will be the cause of every mishap. What other robot eats cupcakes and burritos and tacos?  
  
In this story, Zim and Dib have worked their way up through the grade to hi skool, and are sophomores. Gaz is a freshman, and still addicted to GameSlave, now on version 16. YOU MUST BUY IT!!  
They have enjoyed the past few years of skewed time lines, monster houses, bitter teachers (well, maybe not that), and the genera cartooniness of life.  
  
Now, all of that is about to change.


	2. The Big Screen Modified

Author's note: IZ & co aren't mine, but the story idea is, duh.  
Do GIR and Zim remind anyone beside me of Pinky and the Brain?  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
First Chapter (really this time it is)  
  
Zim sighed, stretching out in a chair in his underground lab. He blinked to get the contact sensations from his eyes and scratched his scalp and wiggled his antennae, finally free from that itchy wig. In an unusual moment for the Irken, he thought dispiritedly on how for the past five or so Earth years he had thought up many brilliant (he thought) plans, each of which had been foiled by either Dib (that stinkbeast pest) or other foolish Earth trickiness. For a few seconds he was discouraged- but only a few. He sat up resolutely and began scheming for the next days attempt- this time it would work, nothing would interfere with his brilliance this time!  
  
Dib, too, was at home putting his evidence on Zim into another report for the Eyeballs. He checked the clock. Soon Mysterious Mysteries' would be on, and then he could maybe get in some spying time at Zim's before getting his sleep for the next day's defense of Earth. This time, he thought, the Eyeballs will see the truth behind the creature posing as a human hi skooler, noseless, earless, and the shortest guy in the 10th grade, though admittedly not as short as he used to be. This time he would actually get to the meeting on time, with the report, with his glasses whole and unbroken, with his projector, and free of anything else that had gone wrong those countless other times. Not tomorrow, but the next day, the truth, the truth would be out!  
Gaz was in the living room downstairs, playing away furiously at her GameSlave 16+, box of pizza in reach of spare hand. The only thought other than the game crossing her mind was Maybe Dib will do something other than spy on that pitiful alien tomorrow, after all these years... not!  
  
GIR was in Zim's kitchen, attempting to get a cupcake from the top cupboard.   
Eh, eh! he grunted as he jumped up on the counter and teetered on the edge, stretching to reach the top shelf... WHUMP!  
Oh, no, cupcake! he cried, standing up in the gooey mess of sat upon cupcake on the floor. Maybe Master can make a new one: chocolate, with green icing, and... and... the Scary Monkey on top! Eeeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
GIR ran screaming around the kitchen floor, walls, and ceiling, finally smashing through the toilet, down the elevator, and into the lab. Still running, GIR wooshed by his master, yodeling maniacally, only stopping when he saw what Zim was working on.   
Ooooh, Master is making a GIANT TV!!!! YAY!  
NO, GIR, I am constructing a holographic multiplier screen to broadcast my image many times into the television boxes of humans everywhere, making them believe that the Armada is at hand. Once they see the desperation of their situation, that will be realized in full when the real Armada arrives soon like they said yet again, the filthy humans will submit to me without actually facing the powerfulness of my... power! Zim raved while GIR stood on his head.  
GIR moaned, Master, I wanted a giant TV... and a cupcake!  
Didn't I tell you there was one in the cupboard? Zim absentmindedly reprimanded his childlike robot. He sighed impatiently as GIR whimpered subserviently. Fine. I'll go get you a cupcake. But don't TOUCH that screen!  
GIR's eye's flashed red as he saluted, and then turned blue again as he turned back to the giant screen. GIR thought. The Scary Monkey Show is on in a minute, but I can't touch the screen... Master didn't say that the controls were a no...   
Up in the kitchen, Zim was muttering about his giant screen plans while he rooted around the kitchen. The thing was a transporter before, so I'll have to modify the pictorial amplifier, and adjust the spranditch so that it doesn't take the real me, only the image, and- He was cut off by GIR-like screeching, and then an ominous silence. Zim let out an Irken curse and stormed into the elevator through the toilet, leaving the lid up in his haste.  
GIR! WHAT DID YOU DO? Zim snapped, striding up on the rear side of the screen. Hearing no response, he cautiously peered around the edge of the screen, and gasped at what he saw: his controls tampered with, a cupcake wrapper, and a rubber piggy lying forlornly on the floor before the screen. And no GIR. Walking around to look at the front of the screen, expecting to see the little robot plastered to the monitor while the Scary Monkey stood and... stood on his show, Zim instead beheld the horrifying sight of... a blue, swirly mass of clouds. He walked right up to the bottom of the really tall TV monitor, reached his hand out to tap the surface experimentally, and was sucked through, with barely any time to holler a   
  
Meanwhile, at Dib's house, the teen was just finishing his Mysterious Mysteries' program, agitated at the conclusion.   
But I saw a gryphon, I really did, they are real, I have the photos to prove it, although it got too close and scratched the camera lens with its beak! he protested.  
Give it up, Dib. Sure they're there, but no one will ever believe you. Why should you care if they do or not? Gaz advised in between levels.  
Dib shut up. He stood, stretched, yawned, and headed upstairs to get his improved spying gear on. He hadn't been getting enough sleep lately, staying up in the wee hours of morning to catch some clue of Zim's newest plan. The alien had been unusually inactive over the past few days, a sign to Dib that he was up to something. So what if he lost sleep over it if he negated the threat to his planet? His classes were sleep through easy and boring anyway, with Ms.Bitters snaking her way into every one of his courses. Dib gathered his tools and slipped out the front door.  
The night was unusually dark and clear. Not a cloud lurked in the sky as Dib hurried along the street, keeping his tall, thin frame as low to the pavement as possible. Suddenly, from the gloom rose a high, towering green and purple house with a fence surrounding a well manicured, garden gnome filled yard. Was it Dib's imagination or were the eyes glowing in the dark? The air shimmered sharply as he reached the gate, peered in, stood tall and walked right up to the front door, ringing the bell politely, and acting for all the world like a normal visitor. Dib knew from years of experience that by now Zim would have retired to his lab to plot, leaving the little dog... robot... thing called GIR to keep up the defenses. With a brainfreezie at the ready, Dib waited for the odd little creature to answer the door. He would bribe the bot, be invited in, and use the time befor Zim came up to check on his servant to find an inconspicuous way into the underground lab.  
But GIR did not answer the door. Puzzled, Dib reached up to knock, and the door swung open soundlessly. Cautiously he stepped inside, wary of a trap, but after standing inside the door foolishly for a minute or so, he gathered up his courage to go all the way inside. Nothing jumped him, nothing tackled, nothing tied him up, and no Zim came striding up cackling evilly at his success. Dib wandered into the kitchen, wondering at the dimmed and flickering lights, the strange poster above the..._ toilet_? What was a toilet doing in a- oh, yeah, _Zim's_ kitchen. Anything was possible concerning Zim.   
Hm. The lid was up, and it seemed to be purple on the inside. Dib leaned over curiously and saw, instead of the typical toilet bowl, a ladder along one side into an... elevator car? He looked around once again, suspicious of some trick or joke, stared into the toilet, and, thinking Oh heavens I can't belive I'm doing this, Dib climbed awkwardly into the toilet. Once inside, he muttered, Now, how does this get to the lab? and the house computer answered, shocking him.  
Yes, Master, too the lab  
The capsule started to shake as it bore Dib down the tubing to the last level onto which Zim had exited. Dib stepped out, camera ready, snapping up evidence of the vaulted ceiling of the room lined with a tangle of pipes and tubes. What caught his eye in the mass of alien technology was a huge TV screen depicting a swirling array of blue and grey clouds. Oddest of all was the little rubber piggy lying on the floor before it as if abandoned. Dib walked over to the piggy first, clicking pictures, taking notes, and turned to stare up at the screen. He stepped closer and closer to it, enthralled, and reached out to feel the texture of the extra terrestrial monitor. His big mistake.   
I should have known, ALIEN SCUM!!!!!! Dib screeched as he was sucked through the GIR modified screen.


	3. Where is my lab??

IZ & co aren't mine. End of story.   
  
Author's Note: Ok, I have read the reviews on the first two chapters, and I thank you for your opinions, very much so!  
One of you said that a different title is in order. Um, any ideas on what I should change the title _to_? That is, for me, the hardest part, naming my stories.   
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
Zim came out in the middle of a dark and deserted cul-de-sac (sp?) Infuriated at his misfit SIR's interference, he muttered and stomped his way to the end, tripped over the curb, and looked up from the sidewalk at... his house? It was tall, thin, and yet had some weird texture... like green bricks...the roof was still purple, and his door still had it's men's room symbol... but something was different. The grass in the front yard wasn't its usual bright green. It was yellowed in some places, brown and dying in others, and leaves were strewn across one side from a neighbor's tree, now bare. The gnomes sat still and unmoving, slightly rusted with age. The whole ensemble actually looked as if five years had gone by since the alien had created it upon landing. Undaunted, Zim leapt to his feet and stormed up to the door, planning on bursting in and finding that blasted bot and-but the door didn't open when he twisted the knob. Shocked, he looked around, then down, and saw a key at his feet.   
  
What in the Tallest's names is this scrap of metal for?! He asked the door. Computer! Let me IN!   
  
The computer didn't answer. Zim picked up the key, put his eye up to it to examine it closely, turning it over and over. It glinted in the faint light from the street lamp, brass, flat, and round at one end with jagged teeth at the other.   
  
That, alien SCUM, is a KEY, a familiar voice taunted from behind Zim, making him start with surprise. Don't they have keys where you come from?  
  
Zim turned to glare at his rival. Yes, and they are the BEST in the UNIVERSE. I didn't recognize this for what it was since it is of such a PRIMITIVE DESIGN!! How do you earth WORMS operate such devices?  
  
Dib responded with a smirk, I could show you, but first you must answer me this... What was that accursed thing in your LAB?! What did it do to me? Are we in some alternate dimension?!  
  
What? What were you doing in MY lab in the first place, earth monkey? Tampering with my experiments? Your own fault, then. Zim turned back to the door with a shout of GIR! OPEN UP! I have strong words to speak to you!!!  
  
Dib laughed, I see. You don't even know yourself, do you. Such a clever ALIEN, huh.  
  
Zim faced Dib, scowling upwards. Everything is under control, filth. Now go home, or the gnomes will drag you! Gnomes! Intruder!  
  
The garden gnomes sat in the yard, unresponsive. Dib laughed mockingly.  
  
They obviously aren't working. We must be in some other dimension: I can't find my house, so I came here, figuring you would know something about what had happened. I was wrong, wasn't I. He shouldered Zim out of the way, snatched the key, and shoved it into the doorknob. He then deftly twisted the knob and pushed the door open to reveal GIR. Before Dib could gloat at his success, Zim bolted inside and slammed the door shut. As Dib turned to find a comfortable piece of lawn to sit on until morning, he heard Zim scolding the robot, and then panicking when the computer still wouldn't respond. A few minutes later he heard the Irken's screeching, muffled by the layers of wall.  
  
WHAT? WHERE IS MY LAB??? THIS IS NOT MY TOILET!!!...... THE TRASHCAN ROUTE IS BLOCKED!!! GIR!!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE THIS TIME???  
  
  
The next morning Dib awoke, cramped and wet from the dew. The sun was up, his muscles ached, and he was sure there was a dent in his back where he had been sleeping on that rock. Dazed and confused, he got up and decided that if he found his skool, he could find his house from there, and it would be easier now that the sun was shining. It was cold... and it was still cold fifteen minutes later as he reached the skool. But was it his skool? The big sign at the top was gone, and it looked more... friendly. Fir trees stood tall at either side of the entrance, and lettering above the doors spelled out Telson High School.   
  
he muttered. They spelled hi skool wrong.  
  
  
Back at Zim's house, the alien hadn't had a very pleasant night.  
  
GIR, what am I going to DO? I can't contact the Tallest, I can't make repairs, and I can't make things to take over this filthy planet! And my disguise! Where is my disguise? I can't go to skool without it! I can't go outside without it!  
  
GIR said brightly, I finished polishing your contacts, and I shampooed your wiggy thing, like you said to!  
  
But GIR, I didn't ASK you to-wait! Do you HAVE them? HERE? NOW?  
  
Um, yes, master! Can I have a cupcake?  
  
Yes! Yes, give me my disguise, and you shall have as many cupcakes as you please!! Here, take the money, and go buy TEN cupcakes! Zim cried, greatly relieved.  
  
And a brainfreezie?  
  
And a brainfreezie. NOW! I shall head off to SKOOL!!! Do not get into any trouble while I am gone, GIR, and bring your Earth... items back to the base to... eat.  
  



	4. Getting around the system-Dib

Invader Zim isn't mine, so there. Don't sue. Please. Thank you.  
  
**Author's Notes:** Hello! It's been two weeks, and I apologize for the lack of updates, but, well, I have hi skool and after-skool activities, and IZ episodes to catch, and you get the picture. So, without further ado, to the story...  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
At Telson High School, the halls were still and silent. The digital clocks in each wing on each of the three main floors read 7:18, two minutes before the students were allowed to be at their lockers. The occasional teacher stalked to the copy room, or in from the chill air to unlock their classrooms and organize for the first mod. The office on the second floor by the main entrance was lit, but only a few secretaries bustled by the glass windows, and none glanced at the unkempt teen in a rumpled trench coat cautiously pulled open a heavy glass door and walked hesitantly into the lobby. His pale face sported rings under his glasses-framed eyes, and his scythe-like hair was messy. No one noticed as he looked incredulously at the display cases at either end of the lobby, full of photos of landscapes on one side, and paintings on the other. Once in the main hallway, he went along the right wing and eyed the maroon lockers suspiciously. Finally he headed down the stairs and was met by row upon row of yellow lockers, punctuated by classroom doors every now and then. As Dib wandered along the hall, pulling at locks and peeking in the tall, narrow windows of the class doors. As the clock above clicked to 7:21, he stopped halfway down and stood thinking while one by one students trickled in from the first floor entrance on the other side of the building.   
  
One girl glanced at him curiously; she usually could recognize most of the faces on the first floor in the morning, and this kid seemed lost. She shook off a vague feeling of recognition and passed him, sitting in front of her lower locker a short way down from where the odd guy was standing. She emptied the contents of her backpack into her locker all but a red floppy binder, a pencil case, and her agenda book, and then squashed the bookbag itself into the tiny space left. When she got up and picked up her things, she realized that the pale kid with black hair was still there, brow furrowed, arms folded, leaning against the door to her homeroom. She sighed and walked up to him, clearing her throat to get his attention. He shook himself, and started when his brain processed her presence.   
  
Ahem... Are you new here? she began.  
  
What? Uh, no, I, uh, was just... thinking. Yeah, thinking.   
  
Well, where's you're homeroom? The bell's going to ring in ten minutes, and you should get to class. And get your books and stuff.  
  
He rolled his eyes and sighed. Why, he thought, did he have to run into a busybody, of all people? I _know_ that the bell's going to ring. I don't have far to go. _This_ is my homeroom. Now why don't you get to yours?  
  
Well, that's interesting, she snapped, exasperated now. This is my homeroom, too, and you happen to be blocking the entrance. And it's second quarter and I haven't seen you in class all year.  
  
Now he was stuck. I uh, am a transfer student, and I–  
  
What's your name? You look strangely familiar. And let's go inside the classroom because other kids will be arriving soon. Once Mrs. Meeler gets here, maybe we can sort you out.  
  
he said, pulling open the door and stepping inside.  
  
  
  
Dib. It's my name. You asked, remember?  
  
Last name or first? Wait, she paused, snickering. Are you Dib _Membrane_?  
  
Yeah. Yes, how do you know?  
  
Right, and I'm Gaz. Yeah. No really, I'm Sophie Smith, and you watch too much Invader Zim. Really, who are you?  
  
Dib gasped, not seeing the sarcasm all over her face. You know of Zim? What evidence do you have on him? Are you an Eyeball member, too? I have reason to believe that he's done something evil this time, and the fate of the world depends on us!  
  
Whoa, wait a sec, you look like Dib, you talk like Dib, and you say you are Dib. Now, sit down, right there. Do you really think you're Dib Membrane, from the Invader Zim cartoon show on Nick?  
  
What!? When did Zim get a television show? Do they know the TRUTH?  
  
Sophie sighed. Right. Ok, listen, the school nurse is on the second floor next to the office. Tell everything to her.  
  
Wait, will she believe me? Why the skool nurse?  
  
Do I have to escort you?  
  
Panic sunk into Dib's brain, and he grabbed Sophie's arm as she backed toward the door. Wait! I, I, don't you believe me? Zim, he's brainwashed you, he's got another zit, that's it, I–don't do this to me, that alien's done something to my life, sent me to another dimension, something...  
  
She paused, doubt clouding her face. Are you serious? she asked, wanting to believe him, wanted her little dream to have come true. Do you honestly think, are you really... _Dib_?  
  
Yes! For the millionth time, YES! I know who I am, and I need help to get out of this skool, school, and find a way to stop ZIM in ALL dimensions!  
  
Calm down. According to the show, you're in 5th grade or something. A little kid. Why are you so tall now?  
  
I've grown up, obviously. I'm in 10th grade in hi skool, and are you serious about that SCUM having his own TV show? Of all things?!  
  
Yes, it's a cartoon drawn by Jhonen Vasquez, and your... escapades with Zim. He's green.  
  
Yes, he's green, and this is FAR more serious than I expected. He may be coming soon...  
  
Don't worry about Zim, worry about how you're going to get the teachers to accept you in their classes. Here, borrow a pencil, pen, and paper from me, and let's go sit down.  
  
Dib followed Sophie to two seats on the far side of the empty classroom, and the other students who came in a few at a time thought little of the two hunched over Sophie's binder as she described the workings of Telson High, and her plan.  
  
When Mrs. Meeler walked in and put a drill up on the overhead projector, Sophie raised her hand and introduced Dib as Dib Smith, who was her cousin from another state and would be spending a week at or so at Telson as his family looked at the options of buying a home here. He would be attending all of her classes with her, and would do the homework with the rest of the class.   
  
But does the office know? Did they give you a note? the confused teacher inquired.   
  
Oh, the office said that you'd understand, and if you really wanted, we could run up there after class, Sophie bluffed.  
  
Ah, well, that sounds alright. Now, who wants to answer the first drill question?  
  
Dib hissed. What do you mean go to the office?  
  
We don't really go, genius, we head to the next class!  
  
And so Precalculus commenced. Dib was better at it than Sophie had expected, and seemed almost bored with the lesson.  
  
After class, and the homeroom announcements, the two made their way through the packed halls to Chemistry. Halfway down the hall they were halted by a shout on the other side of a mass of bodies.   
  
Sophie! Who's that with you?   
  
Ivy, it's my cousin, Dib, listen, I'll explain after school!  
  
Ok. Say, you didn't tell me you had a cousin Dib- Ivy's voice was lost as she was borne along the current out of hearing.  
  
Two minutes later, gasping for fresh air, Sophie and Dib burst into the Chemistry room, and the explaining began all over again. Luckily Mr. Tolsen didn't care as long as everyone... well, he didn't care, period. Relieved, Sophie picked a random two seats for herself and her   
  
Their relief was stomped out prematurely with the arrival of a classmate hauled in by the glare of another. One was familiar to both Sophie and Dib, and his appearance shocked the latter to his feet. The venomous words began to spew forth from both tongues.


End file.
